


Fairytale Theater: Episode 3- Tigress Two tone and the seven Warriors

by Mecha9Viceroy74



Series: Fairytale Theater [3]
Category: Kung Fu Panda (Movies), Sly Cooper (Video Games), どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Attempted Murder, Be Careful What You Wish For, Casting issues, F/M, Fairytale Fusion, First Kiss, Jealousy, Kai is one weird critic, Magic, Princes & Princesses, Snow White Elements, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mecha9Viceroy74/pseuds/Mecha9Viceroy74
Summary: When the director grows bored of the usual snow white and changes the setting, somebody's bound to be unhappy about it. Which is probably why Kai has shown up to review it in the first place. Can The Menagerie Theater get a good review and not alienate their audience?
Relationships: Po/Tigress (Kung Fu Panda)
Series: Fairytale Theater [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593811
Kudos: 5





	Fairytale Theater: Episode 3- Tigress Two tone and the seven Warriors

It was nearly the Easter holidays and the puffin Miranda was looking at Po Li the panda comedy star, "Alright, do you remember your lines?" The comedy actor nodded at her. "Yeah, still kind of nervous. But let's break a leg director." He waited as his fellow comedy star Monkey ran onto the stage and stated "The Menagerie Fairytale Theater is proud to present, Snow white, or is it two tone? Ah well, let's get started with the story everyone!" He hurried off the stage as the crowd began to cheer while the critic sat in his seat, as the set changed to a palace in Ancient China. 

Mantis narrated as he arrived in his merchant's costume. "The new King of China, Rajah was in mourning, for his wife Queen Ban Shou had died barely three years after his daughter Er Xue Chengzi had been born in the winter storm this December, after he had moved to China from India. Fortunately the Royal wife Fenghuang had offered her hand in marriage to spare Rajah from disgrace. Unfortunately, she was also rather vain and cruel, but we'll get to that at a later date." Several actors wearing white all sobbed and threw rice as Bangle showed up wearing a funeral shroud at the palace set, but the mourning changed to cheering as Fenghuang arrived onto the set with Rajah in her wedding dress and Rajah's Wedding outfit. also as the new Queen held up a baby version of Tigress, the baby cried as the nurse sighed while she fetched the baby girl back. "I'm sorry your majesty. Normally the little princess is rather gentle. I don't know what's gotten into her lately." The Queen sighed as she looked at the orange tiger girl. "Well, maybe she's nervous around me, since her mother passed away. Give her some time, maybe she'll readjust." 

Kai muttered while he sat in his chair wearing a lime green outfit that made him stand out a mile high with jade rings. "This is boring. Why didn't you put a fight scene in Cyril? You are the scriptwriter here." "Because my boss wanted a mixture of lightheartedness and seriousness. I told her to cast in in Germany after that one in Rio nearly flopped after Valentine's day,but she said everyone had already seen it there before and decided to set it in China. Also Snow White isn't an action movie." Cyril muttered quietly as he headed backstage to check everything for the next scenes, including the props and casting directions. 

"The new Queen had a magic mirror, that was left over as a wedding gift to the previous Emperor. Every morning and night she would ask it a single question, although sometimes her husband would ask a few ." Rodger the cat narrated next, while Fenghuang and the spirit of the mirror, who was revealed to be Shen the former Wuxia film star bowed to each other out of mutual respect on the throne room set after he arrived in a smoke bomb sound effect that covered the stage. 

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Please tell me who is the fairest of them all?" Queen Fenghuang asked while the Mirror Spirit Shen replied "Why my dear Fenghuang, I know what is true. The fairest of all China is always you." "Every time Shen responded in the Queen's favour, meant that Er Xue would be safe, although she still treated her stepdaughter badly out of fear. Not when Rajah was in the palace of course." Rodger stated as later in the day, Rajah asked his new wife something, as he pointed to the muddy floor. "Fenghuang, why is my daughter wearing rags in the courtyard and cleaning? We have plenty of servants in the palace to take care of this mess." "

"Because most of the servants have been planning to rebel. Beside , it will stop her from getting too arrogant." Fenghuang replied to her nervous husband as they talked and planned about the party. Meanwhile Tigress was trying to stay gentle and kind, when suddenly as Po's actor came onto the stage, he waved out to her. "Hello, I'm Prince Po. What's your name?" "It's Er Xue Chengzi. Nice to meet you," The two children happily met while saving a bird , though Fenghuang glared angrily at the invited guest before leaving the set.

" A few days before the Princesses's 16th birthday, the Queen went to the magic mirror, after Rajah had asked him a question about the birthday celebrations. But this time it was not what the Wicked Queen Fenghuang wanted at all, for her stepdaughter was growing more beautiful than her." Crane narrated cautiously as Shen returned to the palace set, while Fenghuang asked the peacock a question. "Do you mind if I ask you a question mirror?" "If it's about which courtiers to invite to the party, your husband already asked that one a few hours ago." Shen replied, while Fenghuang groaned. "No oh gracious spirit, no that one. My usual one, mirror about my appearance. Mirror , mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" 

This time Shen looked even more annoyed at her question, so he paced around for a bit, before saying. "Well your Majesty, you have lost your place in the Court of Beauties this year. A newcomer has taken your crown." Fenghuang narrowed her pupils with a curt. "A pity for whoever she is. Who is this upstart mirror?" "Well, you already know that person my Queen. It's Er Xue your stepdaughter." Fenghuang's glance of envy glittered towards Shen as she muttered. "Hmm, I should have realised the first Queen would pass on her looks to her daughter. I will find someone to take care of her for me." Then Mirror Spirit Shen left the stage in a puff of smoke as the Huntsman Tai Lung arrived. "Evening Your Majesty. Do you need any help? "

The music changed to be a more menacing one as the Queen replied to Tai Lung "Find my step daughter and get rid of her. Or else I will have you beheaded!" The hunter Tai Lung's jaw nearly dropped at the new Queen's unexpected request as he spluttered. "Get rid of your own stepdaughter?! But your Majesty, that is courting treason if King Rajah finds out about that." "I don't care. Beside with the orange brat gone, I can shine instead." The vain owl stated in a tone that hinted at worse fates for Tai Lung if he refused, while the bored critic Kai chewed some popcorn loudly, much to everyone else's annoyance in the seats.

"The Royal Huntsman reluctantly complied as he went out to keep an eye on Princess Two-Tone while she went to pick some flowers. But in the morning he had doubts of his own" Crane narrated again as the two actors returned, but suddenly Tai Lung slew a demon boar that had been trying to sneak up behind Two-Tone and he dropped his dagger. "Are you okay Huntsman? You seem rather nervous, thank you for the rescue." "No, I am not Princess Er Xue. Run and find somewhere safe from the Queen, quickly. She has ordered you to be banished." Tigress visibly looked concerned and shuddered out her question. "Why would my stepmother want to banish me Lung Tai? I haven't tried to hurt her." He quickly leapt up and stated. "If you don't flee, she might plan something worse for the both of us. I'm sorry I can't help you with the rest of it."

"So reluctantly the princess had to flee her home into the unknown, much to the Queen's enjoyment and the King's horror, when he found out his daughter was missing." King Rajah ran onto the stage as Prince Po was about to ask him something while sitting on a chair. "Erm do you know where Two Tone is? I've been trying to thank her for something." "No, I don't know where my daughter's gone. The festival is ruined! Maybe I should have asked the mirror something else!" Po looked shocked, before nearly jumping up from his seat. "Well, I'll try and find her and bring her back safe and sound Your Highness. You said something about a magic mirror?" 

Meanwhile outside a set of mountains the Princess arrived at a dusty old monastery and sighed at the nearby animals, including a bamboo rat in the bamboo forest. "Well this isn't exactly ideal, but I need to find somewhere safe to sleep for the night." As she headed inside, the sheer dustiness of the scrolls and furnishings made her cough. "This place looks a mess, but it seems like someone is living here, judging by the seven shoe-print pairs. But I'll have to clean this mess up before I can sleep properly." Princess Chengzi Xue Er sighed as she fetched a broom from an old closet and started dusting the place and cleaning, which took twice as long without boiled water, but she wasn't giving in that easily. Soon after ensuring it was properly clean and safe from spiritual contamination, she went upstairs to the guest room and fell asleep in an exhausted heap. 

Meanwhile on the nearby mountain pass, seven warriors, including Master Shifu, Monkey, Viper, the merchant Mantis, Crane, Zeng and Taotie were all walking down the left mountain pass, when Zeng called out to his boss "Hey Shifu, the monastery seems much cleaner than what it was before. Someone else must be in our house." "Good eye Zeng, we'd all better check to see if it is not a robber." 

So as the seven warriors all headed inside to the monastery, Snow White got up as they all started saying. "Somebody was eating in our kitchen." "Somebody was leaving footsteps in the training room." "I was going to say that someone was on our beds, but I guessed wrong. She's in the guest room and we woke her up." Taotie sighed as she quickly apologised to all seven of them. 

"I'm sorry to intrude in your home. My name is Er Xue Chengzai and I was unjustly forced to flee from my own home." At Tigress's reply Shifu sighed."Well at least you apologised. My name is Shifu, the leader of the seven Warriors. My fellow warriors are Monkey, Viper,Crane, Mantis, Zeng and Taotie." Viper gulped,while Monkey chuckled, Mantis folded his arms grumpily, Crane bowed upon realising she was royalty, Zeng waved and Taotie eyed the gear before sneezing. "Wait a minute. Prince Po put up something up in the town nearby saying a reward would be given if they returned information to King Rajah and Queen Fenghuang. But didn't the Queen put up a law that everyone else apart from her had to wear brown." 

"Only the nobles break that one, why didn't you return to the palace Princess?" At Shifu's question Tigress sighed as she was about to cry. "B-because Shifu, my step-mother has grown jealous of me for some reason, banished me and forced the Huntsman to try to kill me, though he spared my life." This was troubling news, as all of the warriors began to talk among themselves, then Viper stated. "Well, until we can find proof that the Queen is evil, we'll try to keep you safe." So they danced and celebrated about their new house.

Meanwhile the Queen asked her usual question as she looked at the fake heart in the box, while King Rajah sobbed in the throne room. "Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Er Xue is gone, so does that mean I'm still number one?" 

Shen the Mirror Spirit looked utterly frustrated at Queen Fenghuang and shouted as he fanned out his feathers, while the mirror turned an ugly shade of red, along with steam pouring out from his ears. **"If you ask one more question about your personal appearance, then I will become a demon out of sheer banality by your repetitive whining! Your husband asked me several questions about her health earlier and her safety and yes, before you get too arrogant she is still alive. Your stepdaughter is safe but-."**

****

Fenghuang lost her temper in a rare occurrence at the mirror's wordiness even though the mirror spirit was also angry and threw a vase at him. But the mirror regenerated from the shattered pottery as he glared at her. " Why'd you throw that at me?! Don't interrupt me. I hadn't finished what I was going to say. Seven warriors are trying to keep her safe." Fenghuang visibly looked concerned "Well, then I will do this myself, even if they try to stop me." Kai nearly jumped out of his seat "Whoa, that was not what I expected. " 

She then took some ribbons and bodices while the tailor Willow gulped. "Your Majesty, aren't you going to pay for those ribbons and bodices? Those were expensive to procure off the merchants. " "Here take 500 yaun for your service to the queen, before I change my mind and banish you instead." Willow gulped at Fenghuang's curt retort, but she took the money and headed off to hide in her parent's house while the Queen readied her disguise. 

"The following morning, a strange pedlar arrived outside the Seven warrior's Monastery , which confused all of them. But none of then knew who it really was.."" Rodger narrated. The pedlar, who was actually the Queen in disguise chuckled as Monkey opened the door. "Greetings, I have some fancy ribbons and bodices that I bought off the Silk Road." Monkey gasped. "Erm, okay. Shifu a pedlar's outside our monastery selling some ribbons and bodices. She does look like a certain someone though." ****

Shifu sighed at the pedlar while readying his travelling staff. "I am sorry visitor, but we are needing to head out to work. We have one housekeeper though and Viper of the Blossoms though. Maybe you could ask them?." So the Queen in disguise waited until the seven warriors had left, after Viper politely refused to buy any. "Sorry, I spent some yaun on ribbons a week ago before the Princess went missing. Maybe some other time?" Then after Viper had left with the others, she asked her stepdaughter a question. "Do you want to buy a bodice Er Xue?" "No, I already have a ribbon. But a waste tie would be handy. Wait a minute, how many yaun is it to buy and how do you know my name?" "Oh it's free for such a lovely girl like you. Let me give it a pull". Then Fenghuang tied the waist ribbon so tight that Er Xue collapsed in a choking fit and then fled the stage laughing "I am the fairest in the land!". 

"But the warriors were shocked when they got back from checking for clues in the town in a near deathless coma, until Viper spoke up." The narrator stated as Viper pointed at the knotted waist tie after checking her wrist pulse when they all headed inside. "She's not dead everyone, just struggling to breathe. We need to undo the waist tie, but carefully." Taotie groaned. "The Wicked Queen's obviously- achoo, behind this." 

As Monkey quickly undid the bodice, Tigress regained her breathing and her conscience was restored. "Thank you Crane. I shouldn't have trusted that seller, since it turned out to be the Evil Queen. Next time we need to keep the door locked, to stop the Queen from getting in. " Shifu nodded. "Then we'll put it into place tomorrow morning." At the mirror's reveal back at the palace set, Queen Fenhuang sighed "Back to the drawing board." , while the mirror stated, as his voice was close to breaking. "I will not put up with your vanity and cruelty any longer. If you don't stop, I will warn your husband and the court." "My stupid husband needs me or he would trip over his satin slippers." The Queen retorted as she came up with a plan for the next day... 

This time after the Tuesday sun rose, the queen ransacked all of the comb shops in the land, which angered their owners who complained to the King back at the palace. "Your wife's been demanding we give her the most expensive comb we could find. Said it was a present to your daughter." "Why's she wanting to buy that mirror?" At least two hours later, as an answer to the question the king had asked, the mirror spirit had shown a heavily made up bird wearing a beautician's uniform heading out of the palace and a drop of something poisonous sizzled on the grass. "She put eye make up on it, why?" "I don't know the reason, my king, but she's not happy about your daughter's looks." Shen the mirror spirit replied back, as vaguely as he could without the Evil Queen finding out. 

This time as the Seven Warriors left again at 9:am, the Evil Queen knocked on the door in disguise at 02:00pm, but Tigress stated while she was finishing her cleaning routine. "If you are related to the owl woman who tried to kill me with a waist tie yesterday, then leave before I alert the guards outside. The door's locked by the way." with a slight nervous shudder about her near death experience. The Queen tried a younger voice as her sparrow disguise nearly slipped, upon realising her stepdaughter wasn't that easily fooled. "No, I'm not her. I'm a sparrow from Shanghai, who has come to sell makeup. Anyway at least give this fancy comb a try, I got it from Japan . It'll make your fur look better than that tired wood one." Tigress reluctantly let the disguised seller, who was really the evil Queen in disguise slide the comb through the font window of the Monastery. 

So as she tried the comb after double checking, she then felt very sick and fell into a coma from the make-up fumes, as the Evil Queen fled, but a guard spotted the disguised owl and told the magistrate. As the Seven warriors arrived back to the Monastery, the magistrate yelled. "A sparrow makeup artist just poisoned your housekeeper with a comb . I am readying my men to search for her this minute!" This time Monkey stated to the others. "Well I'm not a doctor, so I can't help with this." "Thanks a lot-achoo!"

Taotie snapped as they took Snow White to the medical room and Xue helped Crane prepare some herbal medicine, though Viper quickly removed the comb and makeup. Just in case it would make them sick as well. 

Two hours after the preparations , Er Xue sighed as she was recovering. "I can't believe my step-mother tricked me even though I locked the door." Shifu stated "Alright everyone, we'll have to put most of the Monastery's windows, doors and upper levels on better locks. This is becoming a rather ridiculous set of occurrences, it's as if the Queen Fenghuang has someone spying on everything for her.." "I hope Po is safe." Snow white sighed

After Shifu finished his lines for the 12th scene ,the mirror and the Queen both seethed at each other on the palace set, as Kai stated to Miranda "Where'd you get the ideas for make-up and that silk road thing? It's actually been pretty good, not too sappy." "From the historical records about what went on in the 1270s and what took place in the original Snow white, with some artistic license of course. Looks like the audience is enjoying it." She replied back, not too loudly though. 

So as Kai returned to his seat, the mirror spirit stated to Fenghuang. "Are you really sure you want to try for a third time? Nearly everyone has grown aware of your treachery, apart from maybe Prince Po and the King." "Don't push me mirror. This is my last chance to be the fairest, after all she won't replace me until the 16th birthday, which funnily enough is tomorrow morning." Queen Fenghuang gritted as her eyes turned black due to make-up and lighting effects shining ominously in the dark as she dipped a lychee prop into a pot of green liquid, which looked like poison, but was actually green food dye as walked off stage as the set changed back to the monastery. 

For the third and final time, the Wicked Queen disguised herself as a farmer's wife and used a spell to look like an old crone, but the mirror only showed the bit about the poisoned lychee to Prince Po, as the King was elsewhere at the time. "Wait, she's not going to turn into a witch?" Kai exclaimed loudly while Cyril whispered as people shushed the oz. "Keep it down, you're spoiling the play." This time, the seven warriors had locked the front door , the windows and most of the upper levels, so the Evil Queen couldn't get inside.

"Would you like to buy a lychee?" "I'm sorry, but I still feel sick from that comb the beautician gave me. No thank you." So the Queen tried to slide the apple across, but the windows were locked. "Do you want to open the door." "No, it's locked and staying that way since the past two attempts on my life." Tigress replied again, so the Queen knocked on the back door, which annoyed the normally cheerful and kind princess enough to open it. 

Alright, to prove it's not poisoned, I'll bite into it." She quickly bit into the pink-white side which was safe, before saying to try and guilt trip the Princess, so that the plan would go off without a hitch. "See Er Xue Chengzhi, it's perfectly safe. Now are you going to pay me for my farm's time and money, or are you going to reduce me to begging to the street like a pauper?!" 

Tigress gulped before reluctantly paying for the lychee. "I'm sorry stranger, but due to the last two attempts on my life by two of the Evil Queen's disguises, I'm definitely not sure if I can trust you. But since you brought that up, I didn't intend to ruin your reputation. Here's four yaun. Odd, the other two didn't ask for payment." The Queen stated. "Well that's horrible of them, to pressure you into buying without proper proof." Snow White than bit into the poisoned part of the lychee as she stated. "That lychee tastes a bit too sweet. Almost as if-." She fell into a deathless sleep, but not before ringing the warning bell and the Queen quickly realised that the guards were going after her when she saw three heading after her on the road leading to Beijing and quickly teleported away.

"Oh no, now what can we do?" Mantis yelled to the other six, as the Soothsayer walked up to the front door. "I heard the commotion from outside my tea store. The evil Queen weaselled her way in again. Don't try to get the stone out, it's a good start though." True, monkey had done just that, but Crane and Zheng weren't happy about it. "You could have broken her neck without thinking!" Crane shouted and Zheng agreed while preparing messages to send to the palace. "Be more careful."

"Well I'm sorry, but I only wanted to help!" Monkey snapped as he cartwheeled off. The soothsayer added, while the other warriors were making preparations to visit the undertaker. "A kiss of true love might work, but it would have to come from someone the Princess truly loved and not a blood relation." "We'll keep it in mind." Viper sobbed as they headed off stage. The scene changed to a funeral of Snow white, but since not many people knew how to break the curse, the undertaker sighed as Mantis groaned. "Knew something like this would happened." 

The Warriors mourned for Snow White and so did the King, along with the audience. "Okay, now I'm feeling bad. Shouldn't have called it boring " Kai stated while he blubbed into a hanky. "Yes things were looking bleak, for our heroes couldn't figure out how to break it. But help was on the way, for Prince Po had seen what had happened. So he could be the last chance." Rodger stated as Prince Po arrived. 

"Okay, why's there a funeral being held at the Seven Warriors Monastery?" Po asked the Soothsayer. "Why Snow White got poisoned by an old owl. Everyone thinks it's the Queen's fault but apart from the guard's report to the magistrate, no-one has done anything about it." She replied as he knocked on the door. "Who's that?" Mantis asked, while Shifu bowed to the Prince. "Greetings Prince Po. I'm sorry you've finally come at a bad time. The Princess is asleep and we can't figure out what to do." 

Po shuddered "Please don't tell me the Queen's behind this, my parents have been telling me to find a bride. Wait a minute, isn't that the girl I met eight years ago?" He pointed to the large line of would be rescuers being turned away due to failing to wake up the sleeping princess in the casket.

"What's it to you Prince?" Mantis sneered while the others quietly glared. "Well, I've met her a few times as a kid, before all this mess happened, think we talked a bit yesterday too. Sure I'm a panda with a weight issue, but let me have a try at least." The Prince explained while the Seven warriors moved aside. 

Nervously Po gave the Princess a kiss of true love, so it was quite a surprise when the lychee pit was removed from her throat and the Princess got up. "Phew, it worked. Good to see you again Princess." "Thank you Po. We need to go back and tell father the good news." "Hold on a minute. What are we going to do about Queen Fenghuang?" Viper interrupted as Er Xue replied "I've got a plan of my own. Since the authorities have been noticing the paper trail she left. Why, we'll stage a party." "Oh, so the guards and city watch'll be watching it." Po added as the stage changed for the final time. 

"Later on at the palace, a certain Queen wasn't happy about not being invited to the party and the mirror got really angry." Rodger winced as Shen, the mirror spirit turned red again and the shadow of something monstrous appeared behind him. "If you are going to complain about a party, then you can search for the guest of honour yourself!" Fenghuang retorted. "Of course I'll find out why I wasn't invited, for I am now the fairest of them all." 

But King Rajah wasn't happy when he found out about all of the attempts on his daughter's life and when his wife pulled out a dagger from her robes , he shouted "Guards, I regret to say this, but arrest the Queen for treason!"

Fenghuang turned purple with anger. "Why are you doing this you stupid fool. I'm the fairest Queen!"

Tigress as snow white reappeared with the prince and said. "Because he found out from the Beijing Magistrates, the mirror and us about how you really acted towards everyone. The shopkeepers provided the legal records and everything." Fenghuang sighed as she handed the dagger over to Snow White. "Then you know what to do stepdaughter. Ensure I don't endure this humiliation any longer!" 

"No i am not going to order your death in person. Instead I will put you in prison and let the magistrate decide for the country. But you can have a lawyer for your case in the courts, I will give you that mercy." Two Tone stated to her stepmother as the guards took her away and she threw the Queen's dagger away. The audience cheered as the final curtain call came up and the cast stated. "Keep an eye for the Easter Special."


End file.
